Daughters vs. Dads – thee virginity wars
Ahh, the time is ripe for yet another off beat comment from a man concerning a woman’s body. This time it just so happened to come from the hood’s favorite well spoken rapper, Clifford “TI” Harris. In a recent sound byte, he said that he accompanies his daughter to the OB/GYN to ensure/verify/confirm that she is still a virgin. The backlash and outcry has been loud. Some have called it sexist, caveman, controlling and everything in between. Here are some thoughts from a dad of a daughter.
Men are scared of losing their daughters…to guys like them.
“They say the coolest playas and foulest heart breakers in the world
God gets us back, he makes us have precious little girls .” Nas, Daughters
Let’s face it, alot of guys did alot of dirt in their lifetimes and can’t stomach the thought of someone returning their treatment to their precious little girls. Maybe its the close bond many fathers form with their daughters, maybe its the suburban SUV-sized space that daughters occupy in our hearts. Whatever the case may be, us guys cannot fathom the thought of someone dating, mating, or heartbreaking our daughters. Well, no amount of fear, worry, control or dominance will keep your daughter under your thumb forever. The best prevention is open conversation, and quality time. You’re only job as a father is to be her first love, and an example of what she deserves in love. Oh yeah, and to give her the knowledge that will keep her off the pole and the Onlyfans/Premium Snapchats as well.
Controlled kids lose control, really quickly when they get freedom.
Now what if you are able to scare your daughter into staying a virgin, not dating and being as pure as you desire her to. What happens when she is exposed to outside temptation and that fear of you is gone? You get girls gone wild. Most of the wilder girls in the neighborhood or college campuses, weren’t that promiscious at home. They were sheltered and were preyed on when given that freedom of college life and meal plans. Curiousity kills cats, and not all cats have 9 lives. Some have 9 kittens with 3 other cats because their parents didn’t school them to life and life in the fast lane. The last thing you want is your daughter to being the new, willing, object of everyone’s desires all because she wants to catch up to her peers.
Where there is a will there is a way.
The other issue is that your daughters will have some friends that have less strict parents. She may get the game or run down from her group chat. She may hear stories or watch adults pelvic thrusting on x-rated websites. She may become curious and when you’re at work, asleep, its a half day or hell she’s away at camp or school, hormones may kick in. Even with a tracking device, you’re not going to be able to know everything your daughter does. The key is to build that trust with them so they trust you to help in their decision making. Don’t create that environment where she feels like she has to hide or that the grass is greener elsewhere. If you find out she wants to date, try to meet anyone she brings home and vet them yourselves. Honest feedback will keep her coming back to keep you in the loop, and save your hairline at the same time.
She’s 18, so technically she can do whatever she wants.
My last point is a simple one, we don’t own our daughters or their bodies. Unless she willingly submits to parental control beyond 18 (16-17 in some states), you cannot exercise that level of control over her body or life choices. The interwebs are saying that young Ms. Harris has been liking comments on IG which attack her father’s viewpoint. I won’t pretend to know the family or what the nature of their daddy-daughter dynamic is at the moment. However, I know alot of women with daddy issues, and the dad usually loses long-term once she is emancipated from his viewpoint, and realizes that the world operates very differently outside of the bubble that he kept her in, all in the name of protection. Forcing yourself into her medical exams won’t help her, and it will definitely hurt you the day you find out that she is no longer a virgin. Then what? Kick her to the curb like Nunu in ATL?
TI may have thought he was saying something prolific within the realm of his [insert some big words he would use]. But we don’t all agree with you my dude.
Public life = convictions in the court of public opinion. The jury is unanimous on this one bruh! Drop a comment below, and let us know your thoughts.
Related posts
Comments RSS Feed